HEAVY MAPLE
by DragonLord1975
Summary: Canada was just minding his business when Italy found the Loc-Nar and tried to use it as a bocce ball. However, when Canada touched it, the Loc-Nar pulled him in, putting him in a world unlike any other. And things will never be the same, eh?


**HETALIA: AXIS POWERS** © Hidekaz Himaruya/Weekly Gentosha

**HEAVY METAL™** created by Kevin Eastman

**HEAVY METAL** movie appears courtesy of Columbia Pictures

Things were just winding down at the U.N. Assembly meeting as the nations were discussing their usual problems with the world (and each other) all while trying to keep sanity and order. After the meeting, Canada was walking down the hall with his polar bear Mr. Kumajiro in his arms, looking dejected as usual.

"Another day, another crazy meeting," Canada sighed. "Still, I wish to speak my mind at the U.N. Assembly, but I never get any chance."

"And who are you?"

"I'm Canada…!"

Heading down the hall, Canada sees Cuba. Most of the time, Cuba bullies Canada mistaking him for America, but all other times, he's a great friend to have. Cuba notices Canada and walked towards him. Canada froze not knowing what Cuba will do to him.

"¡Oye Canada! ¿Que pasa, mi amigo?" Cuba called out.

"Um…Fine, I guess…" Canada said quietly.

"You should learn to relax, Sr. Canada," said Cuba. "Take some time off. Don't worry about that matón grande America!"

Canada simply sighed, nodded to Cuba and walked further down the hall, continuing his deep thought about him being overshadowed by America's presence. Outside of the U.N. Building, he notices Italy playing with something on the steps.

"Hello there, Italy," Canada quietly spoke.

Italy took only a few minutes to recognize Canada nearby.

"Buongiorno, Canada!" Italy chimed. "Wanna play some bocce? My Grandpa Rome invented it when Romano and I stayed at his place."

"You're asking me to play?" Canada said shocked. "I guess…"

"Andiamo!" Italy cheered. "I'll be white and you'll be green. I saved red for Germany."

"Well, I guess it's better than the time I played baseball with America. Here, I don't get hurt as often."

When Canada touched one of the green balls, a ripple of lime green energy zoomed outward. Italy watched in horror as Canada was being electrocuted. After a few seconds, Canada was sucked into the green ball. When the chaos died down, Italy tried to run away but fell and hurt himself. He slipped on his own bocce balls running away.

"GERMANY, HELP!" Italy cried out.

All the while, Canada's companion Mr. Kumajiro was crying, seeing that Canada was sucked into the green ball.

"Mr. Canada?!" Mr. Kumajiro cried. "WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Canada woke up after blacking out for what seemed like hours and tried to find out what happened. Then, he recognized the statue.

"The Sphere Within a Sphere!" Canada spoke. "I'm practically home! However, something doesn't feel like home here…"

Canada noticed that almost all of New York City is a complete mess. The city looks like a large ghetto. Canada wandered around to find Mr. Kumajiro and Italy and return to the General Assembly. Unknowingly, Canada was thrown into 20 years in the future.

"Where could those two have gone?" Canada wondered. "I accidentally blackout and now I wake up here." As Canada was walking, he is being observed by the people around him.

"Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in a post-apocalyptic movie?" he continued to think. "I might have to ask Australia about this."

Suddenly, Canada sees a taxi parked on the street and heads for it. Inside is a middle-aged man smoking a cigarette and wearing a Hawaiian print shirt on.

"Excuse me, Mister," Canada spoke. "Are you free?"

"You're not from around here, are ya, pal?" the taxi driver said.

"Yes, I seem to be lost. I'm looking for something, a polar bear cub that happens to belong to me."

"If you can, I'll help you find your cub, but you gotta pay your fare," replied the taxi driver. "Hop in."

To Canada's amazement, one of the taxi's doors open gullwing style. Still shaken up from his disorientation, Canada sits down. As soon as Canada got seated and buckled, he read the taxi driver's license.

"Harry Canyon," Canada wondered. "Somehow I've heard of that name before…"

Hey, buddy, the meter's runnin'!" Harry called out. "You goin' somewhere?"

"Yes…Sorry!" Canada blushed of embarrassment. "First, take me to Little Italy."

"You got it," Harry responded and began to drive Canada towards Little Italy. Harry's still wondering who Canada is, why he dressed up, and how he came here.

"Little Italy? Is he fucking serious?" Harry scoffed. "That place is full of Mafia goons. He won't last 2 seconds in that place."

Meanwhile, back in the present, Italy was panicking and brought Germany to where Canada disappeared. Then came Japan, and following him, the Allies came. Mr. Kumajiro was still crying loudly.

"Now, Italy, are you sure this is where Hr. Canada disappeared?" Germany asked.

"Si, si!" Italy replied anxiously. "One of my balls pulled Canada in like a vacuum! It's very strange!"

"Bocce is emphatically not cricket," England responded. "And cricket is much better."

"Cricket?! Dude, baseball kicks cricket's ass anyday!" America gloats.

"If you dummkopfs don't mind, we gotta find out more about what happened to Canada!" growled Germany.

"Relax, Germany," England responded. "Unlike America, I can handle it. Mysterious circumstances concerning magical objects are my specialty."

"Oh great," America groaned. "I'm stuck playing Dungeons & Dorkwads. And I was so looking forward to a Flo Rida concert at MSG, too!"

England spread out his summoning circle to find the one green ball that abducted Canada.

"Somehow I've heard of this type of object," England noted. "Right now, I can't remember. I'll head for home to research it. Make sure you don't lose that orb!"

"England! WTF dude!" America snarled. "I've got front row center seats! I can't carry this silly bocce ball around town!"

With England heading back to his embassy, America is literally left holding the ball.

"This sucks!" America whined. "I need that concert bad!"

America then gave the ball to China to hold for him.

"Here, bro. You got this. You're welcome," America said, as he headed for Madison Square Garden.

"Stupid Yankee!" China growled. "You owe me after this! You still owe me plenty!"

Back in post-modern New York, Canada was still trying to find Mr. Kumajiro and Italy, nearly avoiding trouble with some of the local thugs as well as some extraterrestrial ones. Harry was somewhat impressed how Canada managed to survive that long. After the day is done, Harry decided to invite Canada up to his apartment. Inside, it was a complete mess. Pizza boxes, old boxing posters, clothes all over the floor, and other assorted trash make up Harry's humble home.

"I hope you don't mind," Harry said. "It's been a while."

"It's alright," Canada sighed. "I live with someone who usually has a room like this."

"I can tell you're not from around here," Harry noted from seeing Canada in his military gear. "Who are you anyway?"

"I'm Canada…" he replied, as he always does when Mr. Kumajiro asks him.

"Canada, huh?" Harry thought. "That's odd to go by a country name, unless you represent the country itself."

"Yes, I'm a national representative," Canada added. "My name is Matthew, Matthew Williams."

"Name's Harry Canyon," Harry replied. "You already know what I do. So how does a Canadian representative wind up in this shithole?"

"My friend Italy and I were playing bocce when one of the green balls pulled me in. I lost consciousness. The moment I wake up, I'm here."

"Green ball, huh?" Harry noted. "I remembered seeing something like that months ago."

"Months ago?" Canada asked.

Harry explained to Canada about a job he was hired to do to protect a girl whose father unearthed a relic known as the Loc-Nar. The Loc-Nar resembled a green ball-like jewel and it said to have mysterious powers. However, Harry hasn't seen the Loc-Nar ever since.

"Loc-Nar? THAT'S what brought me here?!" Canada deduced. "Hopefully, this Loc-Nar would return me back home!"

"Don't hold your breath, pal," Harry said. "I don't know where the fucking thing is now, or if it will ever show up again. But, I'll still help you out. You a drinking man, Matt?"

"Yes," Canada nodded. "I may not look it, but I am."

"That's a start," Harry said, handing a beer to Canada. "For now, I'm off the clock. How about we go to a Yankees game, then we'll try to find that Loc-Nar?"

"OK," Canada sighed happily. "I wonder if the Blue Jays will be playing?"


End file.
